Tuesday, November 13, 2012

What I'm Thankful For

It’s been a really tough year.  Beyond losing Sam my family has had  a few too many medical scares.  There has been a black cloud looming above us.  I’m really looking forward to the end of 2012 and it can’t come fast enough.  However, considering this is the time of year we should all be considering what we are thankful for, I wanted to focus on the good.  Despite how hard this year has been, I am thankful for so many things.

I am thankful for my amazing husband and our marriage.  Our first year of marriage came with the loss of our first child.  Even though we both grieve differently we have always been there for each other and have held each other up.  We continue to put one foot in front of the other.  He reminds me every day to look at the good in life, to be kind to others and to smile.  I love him more and more every day. 

I am thankful that Sam made me a Momma this year.  I realize that some have a hard time understanding this because I never got to hold him, snuggle him, smother him with kisses, rock him to sleep or do all of the things of conventional motherhood.   I love him all the same and long for all of those missed moments.  I’ll forever cherish the 5 months I carried him and look forward to the day I get to be with him again in heaven.

I am thankful for this handsome little man. 

He gives me hope for the future.  I pray every single day, more than I’ve ever prayed in my life, that he remains healthy and continues to grow big and strong.  I long for the day I get to hold him in my arms.  I can hardly believe he will be here in less than 3 months.

I am thankful for my family: my parents, brother, sisters, aunts, uncles and cousins.  We are lucky enough to be a close knit bunch.  We’re always there for each other, we make time for each other, we’re supportive, we don’t criticize, we always forgive, we don’t hold grudges, we laugh together and we always have fun together.  I think Pap would be very proud of us.

I am thankful for my friends.  This year I realized how lucky I was to have such wonderful friends to support me when I needed it most, whether it was spending time together, phone calls, texts, emails or giving me the space I needed to work on healing.  I truly appreciate everyone just being there.  I can only hope that I am just as good a friend to them in return.

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