Mother's Day

Mother’s Day is going to suck.  I know that I will be extremely sad on Sunday.  I’m sad pretty much everyday, but I know Sunday will make me miss Sam even more than I already do and it will make my empty arms and broken heart ache.  Never in a million years did I think that on my first Mother’s Day that my baby would be in Heaven and not growing away in my belly.  I should be 8 weeks away from holding Sam in my arms; instead I’ve been missing him like crazy for 12.  I would not trade the short time I had with Sam growing inside of me for the world.  He will always be my first child, the child who made me a mother.  Sam, I can’t thank you enough for coming into my life and showing me a whole new kind of love.  I love you more than words can ever say and will miss you always.

In light of all the sadness, I am very thankful this Mother’s Day though for one very important reason.  I have the most amazing mother a girl could ask for.  My mom is everything I hope to be one day when I have the opportunity to mother a child here on this earth.  She is kind, patient, loving, caring and every other good word you can find in the dictionary.  So many times I have seen her put others before herself.  She is always making sure that everyone around her is taken care of.  These past few months have been extremely hard for me losing Sam and she has been there for me every step of the way, loving me, listening to me rant and rave when I’m angry and cry when I’m sad.  As Sam’s Nana, I know she loves and misses him very much too.  Thank you Mom, from the bottom of my heart for always being there for me and loving me only as a mother can.  I love you very much.